Relationships can be tricky territory to navigate, each individual entering it with their own perspective, history, and values. Dealing with problems that arise with different emotional styles can be a source of conflict and disconnection. However, establishing relationship rules can create a clearly defined framework for charting the course of A positive relationship.
The purpose of such relationship rules is not to be restrictive or confining to each other. But rather to draw mutually agreed boundaries and points of contact, like a map for relationship exchanges to follow. Knowing what you can and should expect to give and receive in your relationship, and sharing a deep flirtwith understanding of each other’s personal needs, creates a sense of security for both partners.
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There are some basic relationship rules, which apply not only to intimate partners. But also to the entire spectrum of personal relationships. These are the foundations of healthy relationships. The building blocks of a thriving connection. You can use the principles below as the basic relationship rules to live by. A general guide for matters of the heart.
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- Unconditional acceptance: perhaps the hardest principle but with the greatest impact. You cannot love someone for what you want them to be, but rather you must accept them for what they are here and now. This does not mean that you accept inappropriate behaviour. But rather that you realise that no one is perfect. You hug your partner, warts and all.
- Respect: Respect is both admiring and considering the needs and desires of others. Loving from a place of respect triumphs over many challenges and stops many negative reactions.
- Honesty and Trust: The cornerstone of a relationship is trust, and the stone and mortar of that foundation is honesty. There is nothing too terrible or too difficult to say that can be made better by dishonesty; honesty is always the best policy.
- Communication – Everyone knows that communication is key, however, being so widely accepted, it is easy to take it for granted. Communication is the means by which you send and receive all signals and information in your relationship – keep the lines open and messages regular.
- Commitment: It can be argued that the shortest distance between two people is commitment. Meeting in the middle and being both willing to go in the middle will give you extra miles to go the distance in your relationship.
- Consistency: Simply showing up, day in and day out, to be a place of certainty for your partner creates a secure foundation for both of you to stand on. Knowing what to expect from their partner allows each individual to lower their guard, be vulnerable, and give their whole heart to her.
JUST THE TWO OF US: RELATIONSHIP RULES FOR COUPLES
When it comes to the secrets of a healthy relationship, the starting point is to shape and mould your relationship patterns to fit your desired future. Protect your relationship and the sacred space between you and your partner by implementing these relationship rules as the gold standard.
Be teammates:
work as a team and support each other. In a team sport, if one of the players drops the ball, you don’t blame him, but move forward together concentrating on the goal. Do the same with your partner.
Listen:
In a relationship, listening can be more important than talking. Try to listen actively, repeating what you have heard, to ensure a fuller understanding. Listen without defence, listen without foundation: listen to what your partner is really saying between the noise of words. Being heard and recognized opens the space for true communication and connection.
Don’t Compare:
Mark Twain wisely said that comparison is the death of joy. There will always be someone who is in a better position and someone who is in a worse position than you. Assessing your relationship against the imaginary risks of measuring someone else’s perceived successes and happiness will only be to your detriment. Create your own markers to target.
- Affection and compliments: love multiplies love. Be generous with your affection and try to compliment each other every day. Affection and compliments are like watering a flower: water your love and watch it bloom. Regularly remind yourself and your partner of the small, personal things you love about each other.
- Know each other’s love language: People give and receive love differently – understanding your partner’s unique love language can open up another level of really getting to know each other. You may be buying them flowers, because you like receiving gifts, when all your partner really wants is words of affirmation. Learning how both of you relate to him facilitates deep and true acts of love.
- Grow together: if you don’t advance, go back. And if you’re treading water in your relationship, it’s probably stalling. Taking on challenges together, creating opportunities to learn together, and doing new activities together keeps you stimulated and the relationship dynamic. Actively moving forward also makes it easier to leave the past in the past, where it belongs.
The Reality in All Relationships
is that you will fight at some point. But you can learn to fight better. Fight for resolution, rather than destruction. There will be conflicts along the journey, so find ways to manage them to your advantage; take the disagreement and use it to build greater understanding by establishing these relationship rules to fight fairly. flirtwith.com
Learn to apologise sincerely and forgive easily:
If you are struggling to apologise or forgive, increase empathy; Regularly practice putting yourself in your partner’s shoes and imagining what they are feeling and experiencing.
Being right is not the most important thing:
going hand in hand with taking responsibility for your own actions and asking for forgiveness, is realising that loving is more important than being right all the time. If the problem is not a factor that will end your relationship, learn to let go of the little things and don’t let your ego get in the way of your mutual happiness.
No insults:
When a fight turns into insults, it’s time to take a step back. Leading relationship authority John Gott man calls criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and avoidance the four horsemen of the apocalypse: the highest and most destructive predictors of divorce. If you get lost in this territory, reset the atmosphere by calling a short timeout. Even five minutes of cardio or deep breathing can reset your neurological state and equip you to continue in a more positive frame of mind.
- Avoid generalisations: Using generalisations like, ‘You always do that…’ weakens your current conversation as it doesn’t focus on the issues at hand. Plus, you add your past baggage to the conversation mix and immediately raise your partner’s defences. This closes the lines of communication, so avoid destructive generalisations as normal.
- Use ‘I’ statements: Instead of framing your communication as an accusation, step up and take responsibility for your own feelings. When a person feels guilty, he tends to move right into a defensive mode, which makes it hard to hear each other. Rather start the sentences with “I”. For example, “I worry when you’re late. I think something may have happened to you”, as opposed to “You are always late and it is so inconsiderate of you”.
- Fighting does not mean failure: conflict is a natural part of any relationship. No one is perfect and there will be issues that you disagree on. Make it the rule of your relationship to fight fair, learn to talk instead of yell, and not see fighting as a failure. Reframe the disagreement as an opportunity to learn more about your partner and grow your relationship.
How to set relationship rules:
In order to set the rules of your relationship, you must have clearly defined boundaries in your relationship. A boundary is both a clear space between where you start and the other person’s end. And a line that is not acceptable to cross. Keeping these boundaries clear ensures that you both know each other’s values and needs. And maintains your independence. Acting as a safeguard against slipping into a codependent relationship.
To set boundaries, start by examining your own emotional landscape. Actively practice self-awareness and learn about your own needs and feelings. You need to know your own limits to set them with a partner. Take responsibility for yourself, manage your own emotions and responses, instead of recklessly reacting to any provocation. If you take responsibility for yourself, instead of pointing fingers, you give your partner the opportunity to take responsibility for himself; this way, your partner won’t get defensive.
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Stand by your values and follow through on what you say: To be respected, you must first respect yourself. It’s also helpful to identify your own fears so you don’t project them onto your partner, and be sure to consciously define your relationship needs.
