5 Ways to Express Positive Feelings in Your Relationship. Have you ever looked for a ready-made recipe for how to love and be happy in a relationship? Certainly more than once … However, all ready-made prescriptions, as well as a specific for a cold, will help one, and not another. Why is this happening? TripTogether Why have we not been taught how to love happily, when for so many this is the meaning of their existence?
As the band leader De Mono sang: “To love does not always You can love so lightly, you can love without limits . do each of us want to love the same? Do you want to be loved the way your partner wants, or maybe completely different?
To understand how to love happily, we should ask ourselves: how do we want to be loved / loved? Also, do we know how our partner wants to be loved? You probably know very well situations in which instead of mutual support, there are arguments or misunderstandings that keep you apart even for several days.
Feelings in Your Relationship
You just found out that you did not get the promotion you wanted, and your partner asks you about the reasons and comes up with a sinister plan to “punish the culprits” when you would rather silently cry on his shirt … or a situation where you fall into apathy because you think that Your partner does not like what you cook, you try to diversify the home menu when he would prefer something more modest in return for a longer walk with you or a hug.
As the American psychologist and marriage therapist Gary Chapman puts it, in order to love happily and create a successful relationship, we should learn our language and the language of the partner, which expresses the way we want to show and receive love. He distinguishes TripTogether five basic languages for expressing positive feelings of love towards one another, they are:
- Words of appreciation and support (affirmative expressions), e.g. I am proud to have such a wife, you look beautiful today, I love you, you are important to me, etc.
- Time devoted to being together, e.g. preparing meals together, going out of town, vacationing together, weekend rituals of shared bike rides, etc.
- Gifts (not only those “from holidays”)
- Life-enriching activities, e.g. invitation to personal development workshops when you know how important this sphere of self-fulfillment is for your partner / partner, or taking care of unpopular household chores
- Touch (the everyday one, but also the tender and supportive one), e.g. hugging, stroking, kissing the forehead, etc.
The Language of Communicating
If we devoted as much time to learning the language of communicating our feelings as we do to learn foreign languages, and put a lot of discipline in this process, we would not have to worry about losing the intimate, partner, spiritual bond in our relationship. Each of us is aware that “falling in love” is a transitional phase that must end. I emphasize – it must! Otherwise, our body would not be able to cope with the elevate levels of happiness and adrenaline hormones. That are produce when we are in love. It is important to have a Plan B that is more permanent and provides guidance for years. That are characterize by temperature fluctuations in our relationship.
That is why learning our own manual is such an important step in being together. According to Champan, most of us use one or two of the languages of expressing and showing love, among the ones mentioned above. Unfamiliarity with the partner’s language, but also with our own language, may result in numerous conflicts in the relationship, loss of faith in his future, and eventually disintegration.
I know a married couple that Feelings in Your Relationship experienced an exceptionally long period of falling in love, until it turned out that the husband did not know that his wife needed a spiritual bond, tender support, joint ventures, a calm tone in conversation in order to make her feel loved. He was taught that a woman must be provide materially and made expensive gifts. He forgot about his wife’s sensitivity.
In this case, the husband refuse to accept that his wife wanted to be love differently. That he does not need expensive gifts, but more attention and tenderness. My husband’s powerlessness turn into aggression. He force his wife to accept his gifts as a sign of love. Instead of understanding his wife, the violence increased. Closing oneself to another, supposedly loved one, and forcing them to accept. Their own way of showing love led to the breakdown of their relationship.
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I would like to add that we often love in the way we would like to be love ourselves. In the example above, it can be said that the wife love her husband. Showing him understanding, empathy, and tender support. When he expect her to show outward signs of love. I suspect that if the said wife had started making her husband expensive gifts. He would have felt more noticed and loved by his wife. And his wife, loving him with a tender love. Was in fact telling him about the way she wanted to be treat herself. They passed their instruction manual to each other on a plate. But their selfishness lost their way. Glasses that were too pink at the beginning of the relationship. Did not allow for noticing significant differences. Which would determine the success or failure of their relationship in the future.
Think how happily in love we could be if we invested in learning. The language of love with which we communicate with each other? Do not look anywhere ready-made advice for a successful relationship or a happy love. Ready-made prescriptions can only be a solution for a short time. Don’t be afraid to get to know each other and talk about. How we love and how we want to be loved.